According to the World's Standards

Have you ever felt like you’ve failed? Especially at life? A few weeks ago I had this overcoming feeling that I had failed at what I “should be” doing in life and what it “should” look like. I felt like I wasn’t making a difference. I’m 28 years old, married to my wonderful husband of 10 months, graduated college 7 years ago with a Bachelors and two Associates degrees, and am currently a church secretary. In those 7 years after graduation I had one job that was in my career choice and it lasted for about one and a half years. I wasn’t fired, I chose to leave for various reasons. My college hammered into us that we needed to climb the ladder in our field. We needed to do all that we could to further ourselves. I saw students dropping out of one club in order to be in another one that would get them “connected” and give them experience in their field. I have seen classmates post on facebook and Instagram about their jobs in our field and to be honest, I have often thought about unfriending them because of this, but that wouldn't make me feel any better. 

When I graduated, however, I started working with the campus ministry as a semester missionary. I did that for two and a half years and then worked at a wine store (the job in my field). Which after about a year and I half I left. I started working as my church’s secretary and married my husband after a year and a half into that job and then moved to the south where I am a church secretary again. Mind you, during all of this I continued to bake on the side, trying to keep up what I had learned in school. It wasn’t that I didn’t look for a job in my field it’s that there a limited amount of jobs where I lived.

While at school I tried to join clubs that would put me in the right direction but climbing the ladder was never appealing to me. I started to become more involved in my campus ministry and that’s where I grew the most in all areas of my life. I met some of my best friends, I had a huge family through my church, I got to travel to Russia and China, and people who cared about me invested their time in me. I was also pouring into the generations that were coming behind me. I felt useful and needed. I felt like I belonged. I was happy and had something better to live for that just going to work everyday and trying to get ahead. I had all of eternity with Christ to live for.

I told my husband about how I was feeling and he helped to remind me of a few things. If I had not gone to school where I did I would never have met my friends, I would never have found the church I did, I would never have met him! “Just think of all the good that came out of you being there, what you learned and the people you met. Plus I benefit from your degree every day 😊” That’s basically what he said to me. He was right and I had totally forgot. I have often looked at the reason I went to school where I did was because of God and His plans for my life. Because let’s be honest, I would not have chosen to go to Rhode Island of all places if I had not been accepted to school.

Yes, according to the world’s standards I may be failing at life and am not where I should be. But why am I measuring myself against the world’s standards. We are told in Isaiah 40:6-8 that “The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever.” This world is temporary. I am temporary. Everything has its time and passes away and so will this world. If I am living to the world’s standards then what do I have at the end of the day? I would never be satisfied. If I live by God’s standards, strive to be more like Christ every day, let His word be my guide, love my husband like I am commanded in Ephesians, and live as Titus 2 commands women, then my life is not wasted but satisfying. I am a vessel that God is using, even in the most minuscule ways, in this world for His glory. That is not a failed life and I need to remind myself of that daily. I need to remind myself of the gospel and what the Lord has already done in me and my life. I must remember to live for him daily and not myself.